Making a kryptonite list and checking it twice
So watching the Cowboy vs. Packer game last week reminded me of the fact that I need to formalize my kryptonite list. It’s been growing in my head, but it’s time I put some virtual pen to paper and get this thing documented.
I suppose we can start with what a kryptonite list is. Seems somewhat straightforward to me, but if you don’t listen to the Ticket day after day like I do, maybe you’re not so familiar.
Hmm, my kryptonite. Maybe examples would help.
Ahh, I’ve got one. This one I also observed last week while watching the local pregame coverage of the game. Live feeds. And not just any live feed. Live feeds with a reporter standing in front of generic fans. Generic fans = people who have no business being on television. This situation, while unbelievably annoying, is not my kryptonite.
My kryptonite in this case is the jackass on his cell phone, standing directly behind the reporter, asking jackass #2 on the other side of the line if he can see jackass #1 on tv. And continuing to ask. Then waving. Smiling a shit-eating grin. And asking again. THAT man is my kryptonite. It’s painful to watch. If it didn’t irritate me so much I’d have pity on him.
Once this happens, I have to check out immediately. THAT man, the one waving into the camera, experiencing his 4 seconds of fame, annoys me to the point that I must do anything and everything I can to stop watching him. Otherwise I will want to hurt him, and others, until he stops.
That’s my kryptonite. That man ranks very highly on my new list.
And just for clarification, your kryptonite doesn’t have to be hate-filled. It just has to annoy/irritate you to the point exhaustion.
For example, the Eagles also make the list. Not the team in Philadelphia [though their fans have applied for a spot on the list before], but the band. I know it’s a good band. I know they have several number 1 hits. I used to like them. I listened to them constantly.
And now, due only to the fact that the Greatest Hits CD spun in my car from the age of 17 until my mid 20’s, they’re dead to me. I can’t handle one single song. It’s an automatic punch out. Sorry.
So now you have a little context. The reason this came up, is because Bryant Gumbel has, as of last night, joined my kryptonite list. He’s awful. He was clueless last night. I used to enjoy watching him on Real Sports on HBO, but his pompous, arrogant, overinflated sense of self importance is unbearable. And to throw a total lack of knowledge on top of that delicious combo meal is just too much for me. He’s on the list. He can suck it.
So to wrap this up, the list, as of today consists of:
- Bryant Gumbel
- Annoying Cell phone-using fans in a live news report
- The Eagles