David Ruppert

With the Superbowl just around the corner, I couldn’t help but think of one of my favorite advertising campaigns to date. It started during Superbowl XXXVIII between the Patriots and Panthers.

I’m sure it was more widely remembered as the ‘wardrobe malfunction‘ Superbowl, but this is my lasting memory from it.

Reebok’s Terry Tate - Office Linebacker.

Out . . . standing.

Oye. All the bitching and whining. All the name calling and finger pointing. All the hurt feelings and pouting.

orrrr

All the receptions and yardage? All the touchdowns and celebrations [eye-rolling sigh]? All the 20+ point wins and 40+ point games? I mean . . how could you ever cover that?

It’s doubtful . . and more likely to end up with a perfect storm that a Superbowl victory. But man it’d be fun to watch.

Could Terrell Owens be sharing his popcorn with Randy Moss?

So watching the Cowboy vs. Packer game last week reminded me of the fact that I need to formalize my kryptonite list. It’s been growing in my head, but it’s time I put some virtual pen to paper and get this thing documented.

I suppose we can start with what a kryptonite list is. Seems somewhat straightforward to me, but if you don’t listen to the Ticket day after day like I do, maybe you’re not so familiar.

Hmm, my kryptonite. Maybe examples would help.

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So, now that the Finals are over, I can’t help but think of a segment on the lovely Ticket in which Gordo sets up a story describing how he, Steve Nash and Dirk Nowitzki used to sit around a play a little guitar together.

Well, at some point during these little jam sessions, Dirk asks to borrow one of Gordo’s guitars; a Taylor, he hinted was given to him by his wife for a anniversary/birthday present.

After some amount of time, not hearing back from Dirk about his guitar, he decided to bring it up in conversation hoping it would be returned.

It seems as though [and this was confirmed on an audio clip Gordo had in which he interviewed the German about it], the guitar, now in his hands for a few years or more, had broken while in Dirks care. While in the off-season, Dirk travels back to Germany and the guitar was left in his Dallas home, assumably getting too warm and cracking.

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1. Do not . . . in an elimination game . . . in the NBA Finals . . . on your last called play of the game . . . rely on Erick Dampier to bring you to glory. Ever . . . ever . . . ever, ever, ever.
2. When Marquis Daniels is your most aggressive, most effective player on the court . . . don’t ever replace him with Devin Harris . . ok, folks? He was good in two games against San Antonio. He displayed quick movements to the bucket . . . but he’s not there yet . . . as proven in every game following.
3. Nelly’s clearly not gone. While Avery was able to get this team to the finals on defense and aggresive offense, he clearly wasn’t up to the task when it came to convincing them during the finals. Like the Mavs of a couple of years ago . . . it was all 3’s, all the time. Made or missed [and often the latter].
4. While Mark Cuban clapping on the court after the Heat finishes up the Mavs is heart-warming and cute, it doesn’t make up for him continuing to be a childesh ass about the officials. This series wasn’t lost due to bad calls . . . it’s simply the most convenient excuse to the losing team. At the same time, I’ll bet he and I are sharing a similar situation at this very moment . . . blogging about our frustrations. Somehow I’ll bet his blog reads a little differently.
5. Dirk Nowitzki has in the past, and in the future will continue to disappear in the monumental series. I’ll admit that’s a little harsh, but if everyone wants to sell him as a top 5 player in the NBA, check the stats. He’s no superstar. He’s a great player . . . that can carry his team to a fantastic win . . . in March, not June.